I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and an absent mother. My idea of love was wounded from a very young age. Believing I had to achieve and perform to receive attention and love, I grew up to become a perfectionist. I was seeking my self worth through achievement in school, so I graduated from high school with my Associate of Arts degree in 2015. I was convinced that after I graduated and retained a prestigious job making good money, I would finally feel good about myself. I later found that was far from the truth. I secured a really good job making great money in 2017, but I couldn't seem to get past these feelings of worthlessness I had unknowingly been harboring inside my entire life.
I awoke from this dreary dream state when I got into a devastating car accident while I was drunk in 2017. I no longer had school to hide my vulnerable feelings of inadequacy in, so instead I sought out refuge from feelings of unworthiness by binge eating, binge drinking, compulsive weed smoking, and sex with strangers in hopes of relieving myself from the intense emotions I felt within.
I soon realized I was only manifesting my inner thoughts to validate and create a reality that was congruent with my feelings of inadequacy. Eventually I learned that the only way I was going to escape these feelings of unworthiness was to face them head on, so I did. I stopped looking for the answers outside of me and began looking within. I started journaling and writing down my thoughts and feelings, without judging them or trying to change them. I discovered self acceptance for the first time in my life. This self acceptance continued to grow and expand.
I found myself trying yoga and meditation and learning about the Law of Attraction. For once in my life, I felt worthy and whole just as I was because I knew that I had the power to accept only the thoughts that were in alignment with who I wanted to be - not what someone else had convinced me to believe or coerced me into being. I had full control over my thoughts and I felt powerful. I felt like I had a fighting chance to live a life of abundance and meaning, so I did.
I challenged the thoughts I didn't like and created new ones that felt good. Over time, my mindset shifted. I found true love within myself, and it eventually manifested on the outside when I found true love with my son and my partner. I found the love I had always dreamed of because I had finally found the love that had lived within me all along. And I am so grateful to have finally found this love because I didn't think it was possible. I thought that if my own mother couldn't love me, then nobody else would either. But that is simply not true.
Our parents do the best they can with the knowledge, tools, and resources they have available to them. We can blame our parents for the lack of love we felt in childhood for our whole adult life. We can choose to be victims of our circumstances, complaining about the things we don't have. Or, we can make the conscious choice to change our relationship that we have with our self and learn new ways of being so that we can experience life from a lens of abundance.
Our wants and desires in life are not random. In fact they are in perfect alignment with who we are and our purpose here on this earth. If we continue to deny our deepest wants, neglecting the work that goes into achieving the life we want, then we will forever stay stuck in a cycle of self abandonment and self sabotage. But if we can question our thoughts and get crystal clear on the life we want to live, then we can begin to build that desired life through intention and aligned action. That's where I come in.
I help you question your limiting beliefs. I act as your mirror, reflecting back to you your authentic, empowered state of self worth. I help you illuminate your shadow so that you can self actualize and rise into your highest self expression. I help you make a plan of action AND STICK TO IT. I help you hold your vision so that you can see anything is possible for you. And I do this by getting to the root cause of your thoughts.
This work can be described best as shadow work, or soul liberation. I seek to liberate you from suffering and dis-ease - usually manifesting as some form of addiction. It may be food addiction, screen addiction, achievement addiction, sex addiction, or substance addiction. All of these addictions I have dealt with and overcome only by getting to the root of the problem - which is usually some kind of limiting belief that first began in our earlier childhood experiences.
This space is for people willing to dig deep into emotional wounds and work through limiting beliefs that are holding them back. If you feel this is you, please check out my services or email me at email@example.com